Rant. Warning : Bad language!

Here it is. 
This is going to be centered around our wedding. For the most part, everything was fantastic and I loved it. I had a great time and everyone else did too so they said. But, there are some things I really wanted to say. I really needed to say. And I do apologize if the wrong people read this, but it had to be said. I know its kinda wimpy to do it this way but it would cause unnecessary unpleasantness and anger if I actually did it. Its going to be haphazard and all over the place, because there's a lot to say and its been building for over 5 months. I want my friends to know what happened, and how things happened, and why some things were the way they were. That I didn't have anything to do with some of the things. And that I hated some of the things and I didn't get any choice in the matter. 

1. I had no idea what my centrepieces were going to be. Every time I asked - politely - I was brushed off or called a control freak. The lanterns and the fish were the only things I wanted and frankly I'm surprised they were even there, even though that's all I wanted. All that tacky, crappy green and white shit all over the goddamn lanterns was not me. It was disgusting. And the tacky mirrors on the tables. Awful. I didn't see my centrepieces finished until I walked into the reception. That's the truth. And the person who put them together KNEW all of this. And I KNOW that every time I asked they weren't even done, and that's why I couldn't see them. And I kept getting lied to. (If you are wondering who this person is, ask Gina or my Mom, they know. And so may you, think about it LOL.
2. Those STUPID TACKY CHEAP favour tags were not me. I didn't want them. I specifically said I did not want them. No one keeps them and I didn't want to pay for nice ones since they get thrown out, and I certainly didn't want the dollar store ones. I didn't know they were attached to my awesome favours until the reception, once again. And the handwriting on the ones I did see was awful. Gee thanks.
3. I did not want anyone to say grace. We were asked and we specifically said no. We are not religious, if you were at our wedding you heard that God was not mentioned in our vows at all. If we were religious we would have got married at a church. We didn't. Get over it. We were bypassed and my poor father was asked to do it, and of course he would do it if asked, on the spot, right before the meal. I was SO angry. I have nothing against people who are religious and would choose to do this but it was just something we didn't want. Ultimately it didn't hurt anyone or anything but really -we should have been respected in our choice.
4. The beautiful music I found and my cousin in Nova Scotia burned for me and sent to me to play as I walked down the isle was bypassed.  It was said that the CD wouldn't work, and I hope that was true. You guys likely noticed that some music started to play then it stopped - that was me saying if I couldn't get what I wanted I didn't want anything and I didn't care if was awkward for me walking down the isle. I was crying I was so upset. Had to pull myself together before the doors opened. Sounds ridiculous but just wait until you're there. You put a lot of time and thought into these things and when they go wrong its the worst feeling. The song is above - I couldn't figure out how to move it down here. Sigh.
5. The cake. I wasn't going to mention the cake because it really was very well done and yummy, but I'm going to. The cake was supposed to be a gift, which is great, but yet again it was a "surprise"... I did NOT WANT it to be a surprise. So that was fine, I gave the specs we wanted and the fillings etc. The cake was nothing like we requested. Sure it was really nice and tasted good but we didn't get anything we wanted, except the cake topper which I bought. I know that sounds rather spoiled and selfish, as it was a gift and we didn't pay for anything but the topper, but honestly - you asked for our specs and we gave them to you. Use them. That's what we wanted for our wedding. 
6. Our poor flower girl was the only one without red shoes. Not a rant, just felt sorry for her! Her mom said she couldn't find any. Sad!
7. I'm so grateful for Vanessa. I wish now that I would have known to invite her for herself, but I'm so glad she came with Leanne, Christie & Steph. Her makeup was awesome. I had no plan for that. 
8. So, SO sad that we had to have it inside. I was very disappointed but I'm grateful for everyone braving the wind for pictures. I am pretty disappointed it ended up that way. Not at all what we wanted.
 

I know now that I really let too much get away from me. I was being too nice. That seems to be my issue more often than not, I am trying all the time to please everyone else even in a small way. I didn't think it was that bad until afterwards. I didn't think I'd care that much, I'm not usually like that or that picky about anything! Once I was able to put everything together I realized what happened though. We were promised many things that never came through - which isn't necessarily my issue, my point is that if it couldn't be delivered or actually done, don't promise it. Or actually come clean about it. Don't hide it or try to push it off on someone else. We were put in a very tight spot before and after the wedding because of this. 

It really makes me sad that this is one of the most prominent things that I'm remembering. That is not how it should be. Its pretty bad that all I keep thinking is how we'll do it all our way when we throw a vow renewal party LOL. 

Like I said though most of the day and night we loved.  We loved every minute of being with everyone and having a great time. We're so grateful to everyone that helped out and were there for us for everything. Thanks to Dad for the open bar - I think that helped everyone's good time! LOL I loved the resort and the cabins and the grounds. The food was great, and I really liked our caterer. I loved our photographer and even though our DJ is NOT a people person he did a great job. Karen (wedding coordinator at the resort) was awesome - Marg (retired wedding coordinator) was a bitch, fyi.  The favours were awesome and I hope you guys still have them. Thanks to everyone for having a great time and showing us that you did. We love you very much!

Anyways sorry guys for ranting like that and I hope I didn't come off as a really big spoiled brat because that's not how I feel or anything. It obviously doesn't matter anymore as its long past but every time I thought about it I either wanted to cry or smash something. This will hopefully help. Sometimes you need to let it out to get over it. 

Advice for whoever wants it: 

Don't let anything go, or be taken over by someone else, unless you really don't want to be a part of it or honestly won't care about the outcome.

Budget for everything. Even if you are being given money by multiple sources (don't we all wish!) make sure you have some way of covering everything if (when?) the other benefactors fall through.

Be forceful in what you and your future husband want. I can't stress this enough. Its your guys' day and even if you are the most laid back, stress free person in the world there's going to be something you need to have - fight for it. 

Random, but : Get the dress you want. Mine took a biiig chunk out of our wedding budget and to a degree I regret that, but the feeling I had while wearing it and the look on Chris' face and his compliments afterwards were worth it.  

Don't let anyone try and bully you into a damn thing. Not one goddamn thing. If you want it - its right. I don't care if its having a python around your neck as you say your vows. If you want it, and it represents you in some way - do it. Don't do anything you don't want, even if its harmless. You will regret it, even a little bit. And as I've told many people in my life (namely you, Lan!) - have NO REGRETS!

I guess that's all. LOL I know you're saying "that's more than enough!" and you're likely right. I'm signing off of this one. 

Love ya'll. Thanks for putting up with me.

 ADD ON! To all my friends where a husband is not in your future, where there is a WIFE instead, I apologize! But it all carries over, future husband or wife, its all good. Love ya Lan ;)