I'm definitely not one of those people who wish for Christmas to hurry up and get over with because I'm so stressed. I enjoy the shopping, the wrapping, the music, the gifting, the food and the get togethers. Since I was young, getting gifts has been unimportant to me. Ask any of my family lol I've never really been one to care much for material things. Trying to instill that into Em, but she's a bit young yet to care one way or another anyway. She just likes ripping paper then playing with bags, or the dogs haha. That's fine with me, I just hope we can keep her like that and no one has influences on her otherwise. The only thing I've been stressed about this year is lack of sleep! I've been up late every night this week because of being out late shopping or doing other things and going to work for 7am every day. It's been tough. Pair that with the fact that for some reason Em won't go to bed before 9pm now when 730pm was normal for her - and we're tired! And perplexed, no idea why she would start doing that.
Those with kids that are/were this age - did this happen to you guys?
We're just so sick of fighting with her to go to bed, and its hard on all three of us! Of course she went to bed fine for Grandma yesterday at 8pm and slept til 8am, but not us! She just went to bed at 9pm. We're speculating maybe we just don't spend enough time at home with her with working so much. That would make sense but makes me feel like crap!
Anyway, we're celebrating Chris' birthday today. Went out for lunch with his mom and then got take out dinner, and I made a cake :). Still have to ice it but I made it! Oh goddamn it Em just got up again...ARG!
Okay back. I have to still wrap a bunch of presents, its hard to do when you can't even start til 10pm. Annoying. Oh well.
Anyway I will go here. Em's freaking out.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Proud to have the friends I do.
I love my friends. They make me look at myself sometimes and wonder "where did that come from?" or "why didn't I think of it that way?".
Yes, I'm not immune to the fact that many children die every day and year in countries around the world. It IS a tragedy of massive proportions and DOES deserve the same upheaval and indignation that the Sandy Hook shootings have invoked.
I'm not debating that.
I'm just saying, that for me, this in particular hurt me. As a mother of a young child, in an affluent nation, this could have been us. Could have been Bobcaygeon Elementary. Unfortunately, a lot of people more identify with something like this that occurred, than hunger related deaths or a war related slaughter in developing countries. It's not that I don't feel sympathy or anger or hurt when things like those are reported (or not reported, and found out about later). I very much do. I just had to post something about this yesterday, and how it affected me.
Many of my friends I know are up in arms about how this is once instance, 20 children not 2000, that occurs so often in other places around the world. I understand their position, most definitely.
My position is, no child should be murdered, or frightened, or hurt - anywhere in the world. And when something happens that you can all too easily relate to your own family, your own little part of the world, it hits home all the more. It's just natural. It isn't the most ideal situation, but I feel that if I allowed myself to feel what I did this time, when I fought it so hard, about everything that goes on - I would be a basketcase every single day. I donate where I can, when we can, and try to get educated about these things as much as I can as well. If I let this one affect me more than the others, all I can do is apologize.
I love that my friends are so empathetic. It makes me proud to be their friend!
Yes, I'm not immune to the fact that many children die every day and year in countries around the world. It IS a tragedy of massive proportions and DOES deserve the same upheaval and indignation that the Sandy Hook shootings have invoked.
I'm not debating that.
I'm just saying, that for me, this in particular hurt me. As a mother of a young child, in an affluent nation, this could have been us. Could have been Bobcaygeon Elementary. Unfortunately, a lot of people more identify with something like this that occurred, than hunger related deaths or a war related slaughter in developing countries. It's not that I don't feel sympathy or anger or hurt when things like those are reported (or not reported, and found out about later). I very much do. I just had to post something about this yesterday, and how it affected me.
Many of my friends I know are up in arms about how this is once instance, 20 children not 2000, that occurs so often in other places around the world. I understand their position, most definitely.
My position is, no child should be murdered, or frightened, or hurt - anywhere in the world. And when something happens that you can all too easily relate to your own family, your own little part of the world, it hits home all the more. It's just natural. It isn't the most ideal situation, but I feel that if I allowed myself to feel what I did this time, when I fought it so hard, about everything that goes on - I would be a basketcase every single day. I donate where I can, when we can, and try to get educated about these things as much as I can as well. If I let this one affect me more than the others, all I can do is apologize.
I love that my friends are so empathetic. It makes me proud to be their friend!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
I have no words
I am heartbroken. I can't even fathom the evil that perpetuated this crime. They were babies, and people that helped and taught babies. 6 and 7 years old. Gone, because some f*cking kid who thought the world was against him and was full of angst decided that that day was the day he was going to make his mark on the world. I don't care what anyone says about whether he was disturbed or challenged in some way, this boy was f*cked. No one, NO ONE, does that to babies. Everyone knows that is wrong on every single level. No justification or defense can be had. I don't want to hear it, because it's all bullshit. He got off way too easy, so much more easy than he deserved. He should have been thrown into the worst maximum security prison there is, and taught about how even other criminals look upon baby murderers. Torture, lifelong torture, would be just about right.
I cried all afternoon after I heard yesterday, and cried hard multiple times that evening. I fell asleep crying. This is so hard to comprehend, I can't even imagine how the parents are feeling and the families affected. The surviving children will have such a hard time in this world, trying to understand (not that anyone can) why this happened to their friends, when they were so innocent.
I don't generally pray, but for those that it would help please let us pray for the victims and the survivors. Keep them in your thoughts this Christmas season (holiday season, etc) and hug your own families a little bit more and a little bit tighter. I know I clung to Melee as soon as I saw her and decided from then on to be a little more understanding, and a little better. Everything, I can be a little better and I vow to be.
To those little babies that left this world too soon, just know we are all around to help support your mommies, daddies and families, and we will do our best. Know that they will see you wherever you are when they are ready, and we hope that you are no longer frightened or in pain. I know none of you, I have never been to Connecticut, but my heart is heavy. I can only describe it as love, and pain.We love you, little ones, and this will not be in vain. We will live on in your memory and try to honour it as best we can.
I cried all afternoon after I heard yesterday, and cried hard multiple times that evening. I fell asleep crying. This is so hard to comprehend, I can't even imagine how the parents are feeling and the families affected. The surviving children will have such a hard time in this world, trying to understand (not that anyone can) why this happened to their friends, when they were so innocent.
I don't generally pray, but for those that it would help please let us pray for the victims and the survivors. Keep them in your thoughts this Christmas season (holiday season, etc) and hug your own families a little bit more and a little bit tighter. I know I clung to Melee as soon as I saw her and decided from then on to be a little more understanding, and a little better. Everything, I can be a little better and I vow to be.
To those little babies that left this world too soon, just know we are all around to help support your mommies, daddies and families, and we will do our best. Know that they will see you wherever you are when they are ready, and we hope that you are no longer frightened or in pain. I know none of you, I have never been to Connecticut, but my heart is heavy. I can only describe it as love, and pain.We love you, little ones, and this will not be in vain. We will live on in your memory and try to honour it as best we can.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Christmas, and "The Game Changer"
Hey everyone
Just me. Such a blogging slacker, let me tell you. That's annoying. Sorry.
(haha I say sorry like anyone cares LOL!)
A lot has gone on since August, but I won't bore you with it all. Work is still work. We're both persevering through it with open eyes all around but it's not the most fun process.
ANYway.
We're getting ready for Christmas at our house. The tree is up, all the lights are up on the outside of the house thanks to Chris - they look awesome, and the decorations are up inside. Christmas shopping is still very sadly lacking - I'm hoping to do some on Thursday, Friday and possibly Sunday. We're headed up to my Dad's on Saturday for Christmas with him, that will be great. He's so looking forward to it too, he's called the past three nights to make sure we were still coming haha. The only thing he asked for (he's so hard to buy for) was a picture of Melee in a Christmas dress with Winston (the bulldog). We tried tonight...and it was a failure haha. At first she wouldn't get rid of the soother, or the blanket, and then the second try she was grumpy and either Winston or her weren't looking. So funny. Here's an attempt.
Frig she's so funny. I hope we can get a good picture tomorrow night when we try, I'd like to get it printed at Walmart in Ptbo so I don't have to pay Black's prices in Lindsay. I think they're the only place that does it around here. Still have to take Em to see Santa as well, maybe we will go on Sunday. Those of you with kids - have you taken your little one(s) to see Santa yet?
On an unrelated note I wanted to also post because I was able to finish a book on the weekend, an ebook that I bought on Kobo. It's called "The Game Changer" by Marie Landry. She's a new upcoming writer, and this was her third book, and it's classed as women's fiction, because it has female lead character (I assume). The first one was called "Blue Sky Days" - a young adult novel, and "Undressed" a collection of 4 erotic stories. I've bought them all, and I liked them all, they were all well-written, however I LOVED "The Game Changer". It takes a lot for me to really love a book anymore, being that my favourite novels are written by some of the best writers on the planet, but I sincerely loved this one. My heart broke at the right places and I laughed and I honestly shed tears at least twice. I tried to review it on Amazon.com but I couldn't without purchasing the book - and I already have it through Kobo! grr. I still plan on going on GoodReads to write about it as well. If you guys have $3.09 and an ereader, buy it. It's worth it. Doooo it! :)
Just me. Such a blogging slacker, let me tell you. That's annoying. Sorry.
(haha I say sorry like anyone cares LOL!)
A lot has gone on since August, but I won't bore you with it all. Work is still work. We're both persevering through it with open eyes all around but it's not the most fun process.
ANYway.
We're getting ready for Christmas at our house. The tree is up, all the lights are up on the outside of the house thanks to Chris - they look awesome, and the decorations are up inside. Christmas shopping is still very sadly lacking - I'm hoping to do some on Thursday, Friday and possibly Sunday. We're headed up to my Dad's on Saturday for Christmas with him, that will be great. He's so looking forward to it too, he's called the past three nights to make sure we were still coming haha. The only thing he asked for (he's so hard to buy for) was a picture of Melee in a Christmas dress with Winston (the bulldog). We tried tonight...and it was a failure haha. At first she wouldn't get rid of the soother, or the blanket, and then the second try she was grumpy and either Winston or her weren't looking. So funny. Here's an attempt.
On an unrelated note I wanted to also post because I was able to finish a book on the weekend, an ebook that I bought on Kobo. It's called "The Game Changer" by Marie Landry. She's a new upcoming writer, and this was her third book, and it's classed as women's fiction, because it has female lead character (I assume). The first one was called "Blue Sky Days" - a young adult novel, and "Undressed" a collection of 4 erotic stories. I've bought them all, and I liked them all, they were all well-written, however I LOVED "The Game Changer". It takes a lot for me to really love a book anymore, being that my favourite novels are written by some of the best writers on the planet, but I sincerely loved this one. My heart broke at the right places and I laughed and I honestly shed tears at least twice. I tried to review it on Amazon.com but I couldn't without purchasing the book - and I already have it through Kobo! grr. I still plan on going on GoodReads to write about it as well. If you guys have $3.09 and an ereader, buy it. It's worth it. Doooo it! :)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I'm beat
I'm tired, very tired. Working two jobs, being a mother to a 19mo old and a wife - meaning being still expected to do the lions share of the housework /parenting, is getting to me. I don't mean I don't want to do it or expect Chris to do everything - I definitely don't, I don't agree with that, but I'm tired. Chris is amazing, he does more with Emeliah than any man I've ever known, and more housework than any man I've ever known. I'm extremely lucky to have him, and love him, and get love from him. But it's a woman's burden. Now that most women work full time or part time, their responsibilities have increased exponentially, and the expectations are still the same when it comes to children and homes. No matter what people say, that's the truth. Women that are breadwinners and choose to have a home and family, its much crazier. Now, I wouldn't give up having a full time job as of yet, though sometimes I really do think I could do it, in a second. If you have things or can find things to do when you're off, you're golden. Anyway, I digress. I am tired. Two jobs, four including being a mother and wife, are wearing me out. I'm enjoying three of the jobs LOL, so that's better than none!
I give a huge thumbs up to ALL women out there, not just mothers/wives/full time workers/part time workers, because we all bear huge responsibilities and the weight of the world rests on our shoulders!
Remember how amazing you are, and how you can get through whatever is going on in your life, because you are woman, and are incredible.
I give a huge thumbs up to ALL women out there, not just mothers/wives/full time workers/part time workers, because we all bear huge responsibilities and the weight of the world rests on our shoulders!
Remember how amazing you are, and how you can get through whatever is going on in your life, because you are woman, and are incredible.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Been another while...oops
Hey everyone!
So its been months. I've been slacking. I know, it's bad. I'll do some general updating LOL.
It got so busy, normal summer stuff and other things. We didn't go on strike, as I'm sure some of you know. As a backup plan I got myself a part time job in June, and had already started when the new collective agreement was signed. So, being me to a T, I felt bad even thinking about quitting when they had put so much time into training me, so as of right I'm still a part of the Penningtons team. I do like it though! I've limited myself to 8-12 hrs/week so its not that bad. I am pretty tired though a lot of the time, and I do miss my fam but luckily I have a one of a kind husband and amazing baby girl so its all good, at least right now!
She's 18mos now, incredibly. Saying a lot of words (some indecipherable, but still words!), and she's in the 90th percentile for everything at her doc appointment. I am so proud of her. Potty training seems to be a ways away though, all she does with the potty is carry it around or try to stand on it so far :s which kind of sucks but what can you do. Just keep her around it and keep tryin here and there. Once we're home more we should be able to get that on the right track. Em goes to daycare once a week now too, and it is going well (wish she could go more, but its $$!).
Tomorrow is our fifth wedding of the season, and last so far - thankfully! Not that I don't love everyone but it gets tiring and expensive. Chris has been in two, so that's been a bigger expense as well. Wouldn't trade it of course, these people are a big part of our lives but still, its busy. We're really looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow, its been way too long since we have all hung out. I'm looking forward to not hosting something with everyone and just being able to relax. No husband in the wedding, no toddler running amok and no real responsibilities when it comes to it. Just having a good time with good friends.
We cloth diaper part time now, I'd love to do full time but it just won't work just yet for our family. Our favourite so far are Fuzzibuns, and Bums Up Baby. They are great!! I love doing it, I don't mind the laundry at all and Chris got my clothesline up so all the better. Anyway everything is going pretty well here at the house, the small renos are going well. Chris is almost done the basement and pretty proud of it, I'm proud of him too. He's done everything by the book no matter what and it looks great. It has driven me crazy off and on haha but it is close to being done.
I'm having some aches and pains this week, to get boring here. LOL. My hip has been so sore - I've been limping all week, and this morning I woke up with a huge ache in my chest, right between my breasts in my sternum. Its so painful! I researched it, so I wouldn't over react, and it seems like it could be "Costochondritis". Nothing major by any means so I read but I'm glad to have put a maybe name to it. I called the doc to get in today just in case but he had no appts today and is going on holidays next week. Oh well. The receptionist didn't seem concerned (do they ever?) so oh well. I'll keep an eye on it.
Anyway everyone I hope everything is okay with you guys. Leave me a message if you want! :)
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Been a while
So its been a while since I've put up a post, life has been a little nuts. I've been on call every other week for the last bit and will be for the next 3 weeks, I go back on on Thursday. Its really draining me. I know I sound like a broken record and whoever reads this is likely just screaming "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT THEN!" but they don't realize that I can't. Unless I get offered another job that I apply for I am stuck here, because I can't and won't risk my family's security just because I'm unhappy. We need this income.
Speaking of that I'm currently terrified, the contract talks between our union and the City broke down last week, both parties walked away from the table. I'm so scared that there will end up being a strike vote, and I don't care who reads this, there would have to be something extremely extremely drastic for me to EVER vote for a strike. I will not be swayed by "popular opinion". NO ONE WINS during a strike, I don't care what side your on. Its people like me and my other coworkers, young people just starting out that get hurt. People who are older and don't necessarily NEED to work for a certain period of time don't care, want to prove a point, and unfortunately they are the majority. That's why we end up suffering, because they don't give a damn. That's why we don't have paid maternity leave, the old people don't care and they are the ones who make the difference. I'm going to try to get another position, with the same pay or better. I have to, if this continues.
Anyway we went to the cottage this past weekend, and it was gorgeous. Absolutely incredible weather. We went up to open it up, because no one else could go up and we want to be more involved. The water pump was effed, so we brought it back home with us and are going to get another one. After spending $60 on a part lol, its still screwed. Oh well. Lookin' around for another, no big deal. We had a great weekend though, got everything else done we needed to. Relaxed, hung out in the sun and Emeliah played in a pool on the dock, had a great time. The bugs were bad but only in the shade and at night, but we avoided them mostly.
Anyway my coworker Jen had her baby on Sunday night, very exciting. She had a baby boy, after 2 girls which is awesome. She had a crappy labour (she has bad ones!) but all is well and everyone is doing great. Makes ya think about babies again! :)
Anyway, hope all is well with everyone!
Speaking of that I'm currently terrified, the contract talks between our union and the City broke down last week, both parties walked away from the table. I'm so scared that there will end up being a strike vote, and I don't care who reads this, there would have to be something extremely extremely drastic for me to EVER vote for a strike. I will not be swayed by "popular opinion". NO ONE WINS during a strike, I don't care what side your on. Its people like me and my other coworkers, young people just starting out that get hurt. People who are older and don't necessarily NEED to work for a certain period of time don't care, want to prove a point, and unfortunately they are the majority. That's why we end up suffering, because they don't give a damn. That's why we don't have paid maternity leave, the old people don't care and they are the ones who make the difference. I'm going to try to get another position, with the same pay or better. I have to, if this continues.
Anyway we went to the cottage this past weekend, and it was gorgeous. Absolutely incredible weather. We went up to open it up, because no one else could go up and we want to be more involved. The water pump was effed, so we brought it back home with us and are going to get another one. After spending $60 on a part lol, its still screwed. Oh well. Lookin' around for another, no big deal. We had a great weekend though, got everything else done we needed to. Relaxed, hung out in the sun and Emeliah played in a pool on the dock, had a great time. The bugs were bad but only in the shade and at night, but we avoided them mostly.
Anyway my coworker Jen had her baby on Sunday night, very exciting. She had a baby boy, after 2 girls which is awesome. She had a crappy labour (she has bad ones!) but all is well and everyone is doing great. Makes ya think about babies again! :)
Anyway, hope all is well with everyone!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Second Easter
So here I am once again. I can't believe I've actually stuck with this for over a month LOL.
Anyway for the past week and a half or so we've been having trouble with poor Em. She is normally an extremely relaxed and easygoing baby and always has been, but this last little while she's been up during the night, whiny, crying... At first we could NOT find out a cause, there were no telltale bumps on her gums from teeth coming in, she wasn't sick, her diaper was dry, she wasn't hungry (she was the first night, but after that we smartened up). We were stumped. What had happened to our amazing, jealousy-inducing super baby? I was freaking knowing that I wouldn't be able to handle much more. Then for a few days she seemed fine. We were happy. Then it started again, badly. A cold came on, and hard. Diaper rash came fast and hard too, poor baby, and she was really starting to dig at her ears and chew and drool - the awful teeth were coming in. She would not let us look in her mouth until today where I saw THREE molars coming in, one on each side of the top jaw and one on the left side of the bottom jaw :( poor girl. We went to Trenton yesterday for Easter and we didn't get home until about 1030pm. She had slept the entire way home which we anticipated, and we thought for sure it would be an easy transfer from the truck to bed like many other times, but NOPE! She did not want to go back to sleep. We fought with her from 1030pm until almost 2am. Not fought literally of course but sit with her, relax with her, try to put her down then she cries for an hour, try again, then she cries for an hour etc. Finally she either worked out what was wrong or got too tired and fell asleep. We felt awful - definitely not a normal thing in our house to let her cry for that long at least but man, there wasn't anything else we felt we could do! It was SO late and we were SO tired from driving 4+ hours round trip we were out of ideas. She was fine as far as we could tell - full, dry, had some advil a few hours previous, not hot nor cold...and she MAY be getting to the age where she can test us to see when/if we will come in and get her if she cries long enough. I'm not 100% sold on that idea that toddlers try to manipulate - I don't think they have it in them really - but its possible for sure. You never really know if what you're doing is right by them but you just try your best. Today she was so off. She was so sucky, quiet and kind of lethargic in the sense that she didn't really want to play or chat or even eat much. We got her to eat a bit of breakfast and a whole dinner, with an (unsweetened!) applesauce before bed plus lots of sippies full of 30% juice and 70% water so she should be okay as far as food and drink is concerned today. My dad came down for an Easter dinner today and I felt really bad that she was totally not into visitors today :( she didn't want anything to do with anyone else before her nap and he even brought her an electric four wheeler as an Easter gift! lol. I did feel bad though there's nothing we can do about it. After dinner she was a bit more up and at'em so she did end up playing a bit and so far she's gone to bed okay. Those teeth must hurt SO MUCH! They look painful. Poor girly. Fingers crossed she sleeps, I'm off tomorrow but Chris isn't, so he needs his sleep.
On another note, I'm so pumped - I got my Class 3 Water Treatment in the mail last week! Woot I'm a Class 3 Water Treatment Plant Operator and Class 2 Water Distribution and Supply Operator! (There are only 4 classes total, so I'm almost done!).
If I decide to move on from my current job, I now have a big step ahead. Very pleased indeed!
All in all it was a pretty good Easter weekend, Em charmed everyone with walking and smiling even if she wasn't really herself and it was great to see and hang out with (almost) everyone!
I hope everyone out there had a great Easter if you celebrate it and if not hope you had a great long weekend :).
Anyway for the past week and a half or so we've been having trouble with poor Em. She is normally an extremely relaxed and easygoing baby and always has been, but this last little while she's been up during the night, whiny, crying... At first we could NOT find out a cause, there were no telltale bumps on her gums from teeth coming in, she wasn't sick, her diaper was dry, she wasn't hungry (she was the first night, but after that we smartened up). We were stumped. What had happened to our amazing, jealousy-inducing super baby? I was freaking knowing that I wouldn't be able to handle much more. Then for a few days she seemed fine. We were happy. Then it started again, badly. A cold came on, and hard. Diaper rash came fast and hard too, poor baby, and she was really starting to dig at her ears and chew and drool - the awful teeth were coming in. She would not let us look in her mouth until today where I saw THREE molars coming in, one on each side of the top jaw and one on the left side of the bottom jaw :( poor girl. We went to Trenton yesterday for Easter and we didn't get home until about 1030pm. She had slept the entire way home which we anticipated, and we thought for sure it would be an easy transfer from the truck to bed like many other times, but NOPE! She did not want to go back to sleep. We fought with her from 1030pm until almost 2am. Not fought literally of course but sit with her, relax with her, try to put her down then she cries for an hour, try again, then she cries for an hour etc. Finally she either worked out what was wrong or got too tired and fell asleep. We felt awful - definitely not a normal thing in our house to let her cry for that long at least but man, there wasn't anything else we felt we could do! It was SO late and we were SO tired from driving 4+ hours round trip we were out of ideas. She was fine as far as we could tell - full, dry, had some advil a few hours previous, not hot nor cold...and she MAY be getting to the age where she can test us to see when/if we will come in and get her if she cries long enough. I'm not 100% sold on that idea that toddlers try to manipulate - I don't think they have it in them really - but its possible for sure. You never really know if what you're doing is right by them but you just try your best. Today she was so off. She was so sucky, quiet and kind of lethargic in the sense that she didn't really want to play or chat or even eat much. We got her to eat a bit of breakfast and a whole dinner, with an (unsweetened!) applesauce before bed plus lots of sippies full of 30% juice and 70% water so she should be okay as far as food and drink is concerned today. My dad came down for an Easter dinner today and I felt really bad that she was totally not into visitors today :( she didn't want anything to do with anyone else before her nap and he even brought her an electric four wheeler as an Easter gift! lol. I did feel bad though there's nothing we can do about it. After dinner she was a bit more up and at'em so she did end up playing a bit and so far she's gone to bed okay. Those teeth must hurt SO MUCH! They look painful. Poor girly. Fingers crossed she sleeps, I'm off tomorrow but Chris isn't, so he needs his sleep.
On another note, I'm so pumped - I got my Class 3 Water Treatment in the mail last week! Woot I'm a Class 3 Water Treatment Plant Operator and Class 2 Water Distribution and Supply Operator! (There are only 4 classes total, so I'm almost done!).
If I decide to move on from my current job, I now have a big step ahead. Very pleased indeed!
All in all it was a pretty good Easter weekend, Em charmed everyone with walking and smiling even if she wasn't really herself and it was great to see and hang out with (almost) everyone!
I hope everyone out there had a great Easter if you celebrate it and if not hope you had a great long weekend :).
Monday, April 2, 2012
6 months already?
So we've been married for 6 months and we just realized (and Chris blamed me, of course, as men do LOL) that we haven't sent away our "Record of Solemnization of Marriage" to get our marriage certificate. Legally, we aren't married yet haha! Oops. I'm going to do that tomorrow, take it into ServiceOntario. At least we know the minister's copy has been there for a while! Oh well.
Its amazing to me that its been 6months. The wedding brings back great memories and some sad ones, as you know, but mostly great. We did it. Finally. After everything we went through, getting engaged (almost 3 years ago now) , graduating higher education, getting real jobs, and then buying a house, planning & having a baby and having a wedding all in the same year! We were nuts! haha
Its kind of funny, because even though I was never a bridezilla or ALL ABOUT PLANNING I did miss it afterwards. I think it was because there "was nothing left to look forward to" which is ridiculous. I guess I felt that way because really, we have done everything. We have careers (we may want to change them, but as a whole we are okay), we own our home, our vehicles, have a child and are married! What else is there? Maybe more children (likely more children, hopefully), a new vehicle here and there, maybe 10 yrs down the road a new house...but really. Nothing BIG anymore or so it felt (feels?). For years now there's always been a goal in mind for me. Going to school, graduating school, finding a job, buying a house, getting married, having a baby. Guess I'm kind of lost in a sense. Happy, but a bit lost lol.
Anyone else felt or feel that way?
Its amazing to me that its been 6months. The wedding brings back great memories and some sad ones, as you know, but mostly great. We did it. Finally. After everything we went through, getting engaged (almost 3 years ago now) , graduating higher education, getting real jobs, and then buying a house, planning & having a baby and having a wedding all in the same year! We were nuts! haha
Its kind of funny, because even though I was never a bridezilla or ALL ABOUT PLANNING I did miss it afterwards. I think it was because there "was nothing left to look forward to" which is ridiculous. I guess I felt that way because really, we have done everything. We have careers (we may want to change them, but as a whole we are okay), we own our home, our vehicles, have a child and are married! What else is there? Maybe more children (likely more children, hopefully), a new vehicle here and there, maybe 10 yrs down the road a new house...but really. Nothing BIG anymore or so it felt (feels?). For years now there's always been a goal in mind for me. Going to school, graduating school, finding a job, buying a house, getting married, having a baby. Guess I'm kind of lost in a sense. Happy, but a bit lost lol.
Anyone else felt or feel that way?
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
The beginning of something beautiful?
So,
I'm trying a new colour here so we'll see if you can even read it lol.
I went back to Curves tonight after a two week absence and a 2month absence before that. I find it SO freakin hard to go. I like it there, I like the women there (even though they are normally 20-30 years older than me) and the work out isn't bad. It feels pretty low impact but they say it does work so that's what matters. When I was off on mat leave I went 3 times a week and at the end of about 5mos of that I had only lost 3/4 of a pound and 2.5inches - I was very disappointed - but maybe now it will be different. We are eating way better, much more fresh fruit and veggies, not much processed food at all anymore. We even went to butter from margarine, Ancient Grain and/or Flax bread, flax spaghetti etc.
PLUS
If I'm not hallucinating I have lost 8lbs since January, just from eating better. I still have a pop every now and then, I can't seem to kick it entirely. I don't weigh myself regularly or want to, but I remember weighing myself sometime in Jan and I did it tonight on a whim and it was about 8lbs less.
I don't know if I'm just having a pipe dream here but maybe, just maybe things are coming together this time. I don't know for sure but I really want (and need, truthfully) this to work.
We want to have another baby eventually and I really do need to lose weight before that happens. No medical professional has told me I had to and I have no health problems whatsoever but I feel I need to.
Things are suffering. My self esteem/body image absolutely numero uno. Sometimes Chris & I's relationship, which is inevitable when you don't like yourself here and there. Its really tough to get through and I'm trying hard but he's noticed my attitude change. I don't do it intentionally but its hard to be positive at times.
But like I said maybe this time things will change, maybe this will be the start of it. I wish I could have one of those epiphanies that all those "success" story people have where they just decide to change and do it - but that doesn't seem to be how I work LOL.
I have a better attitude now. I hope this all comes together. We all need it in this family.
I want to look like this again!
How is everyone out there doing? Any New Year's resolutions coming to fruition?
I'm trying a new colour here so we'll see if you can even read it lol.
I went back to Curves tonight after a two week absence and a 2month absence before that. I find it SO freakin hard to go. I like it there, I like the women there (even though they are normally 20-30 years older than me) and the work out isn't bad. It feels pretty low impact but they say it does work so that's what matters. When I was off on mat leave I went 3 times a week and at the end of about 5mos of that I had only lost 3/4 of a pound and 2.5inches - I was very disappointed - but maybe now it will be different. We are eating way better, much more fresh fruit and veggies, not much processed food at all anymore. We even went to butter from margarine, Ancient Grain and/or Flax bread, flax spaghetti etc.
PLUS
If I'm not hallucinating I have lost 8lbs since January, just from eating better. I still have a pop every now and then, I can't seem to kick it entirely. I don't weigh myself regularly or want to, but I remember weighing myself sometime in Jan and I did it tonight on a whim and it was about 8lbs less.
I don't know if I'm just having a pipe dream here but maybe, just maybe things are coming together this time. I don't know for sure but I really want (and need, truthfully) this to work.
We want to have another baby eventually and I really do need to lose weight before that happens. No medical professional has told me I had to and I have no health problems whatsoever but I feel I need to.
Things are suffering. My self esteem/body image absolutely numero uno. Sometimes Chris & I's relationship, which is inevitable when you don't like yourself here and there. Its really tough to get through and I'm trying hard but he's noticed my attitude change. I don't do it intentionally but its hard to be positive at times.
But like I said maybe this time things will change, maybe this will be the start of it. I wish I could have one of those epiphanies that all those "success" story people have where they just decide to change and do it - but that doesn't seem to be how I work LOL.
I have a better attitude now. I hope this all comes together. We all need it in this family.
I want to look like this again!
How is everyone out there doing? Any New Year's resolutions coming to fruition?
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
HAPPY Momma!
YAY!
Emeliah is walking! She has been taking a few steps on her own here and there, mostly hanging onto someone or something, but as of this Sunday she is walking EVERYWHERE (when she feels like it). She will still crawl or want to hang on to you here and there but she's doing it! All across the kitchen, the living room etc. Woot! What a good baby girl! She's just shy of 14months - she'll be 14months on the 22nd.
Time is flying by.
I can't wait to have another and yet I'm terrified to - I love her so much, how do you share that love? They tell me that you don't SHARE it, it doubles, but its still scary lol.
But until then, I'm SO proud of her! yay!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Sorry
Hi everyone (whoever reads this...)
I want to apologize. This mainly has been a ranting board, not one that I keep in touch with my friends on. I'm sorry for that.
I've just been going through a lot of stress at work lately - there was a provincial order on the water plant and I got caught up in it and I'm trying to fight/deal with that, and now because of the order the management team responsible for us does not trust us and is questioning all our work/logs/information since - which is completely uncalled for. If you all knew what I was talking about (a small part of the world does, so I won't try and explain) when I explained about the water plant and what happened I'm sure you'd be as up in arms as I am. Chris is, he thought maybe I was exaggerating a little bit but recent events have totally put him on my side. Long story short - we received an order from the government for an incident that is 2 years old, and had been proven to actually not be any sort of problem whatsoever. The evidence proves this, as does the engineer's report. However our management team rolled over when they should have asked us and fought for us, and that's what I'm angry about. Plus the fact that we received a sort of reprimand (kind of) when the engineer's report totally cleared us and its proven that there was NO incident is whats getting me upset.
Every day I'm stressing about what I heard that day or what is coming down the pipe that day. Wondering if I have to be worried about my job, or going toshift work (ssssshhh don't say that too loud), or what will happen now when one of our ORO (overall responsible operator) leaves - who's going to replace him? Both people who are currently "up for it" if they don't hire externally would be horrid! The fear mongering by this particular ORO is a big stress in itself. I worry enough, I don't need him planting ideas and "information" (if its to be trusted) in my head. I already am losing sleep because of this, and because our union negotiations are on hold pending a conciliator - meaning if they don't help resolve the negotiations we're either on strike or locked out. I have too much depending on me and this job. That in itself is more than it's share of stress.
I don't like mentioning it or making a big deal out of it - but its so hard to be the one who makes the bigger paycheque. Its not for lack of trying on Chris' part, that's for damn sure, and I don't fault HIM for it by any means - the whole "traditional roles" thing is nice but not realistic for the majority of people in this world anymore. I don't care about that, but its still a big stressor. I am not the type of woman who would ever throw that back in his face, or parade it around to other people, I hesitate to even "publish" this. I don't agree with that and like I said before, it isn't his fault. He's tried and is trying, and we're supporting each other throughout. Thats a partnership - the 'traditional' marriage is not necessarily needed to have an amazing marriage and/or commitment to each other. If you have children, even if you can't picture it now, it really would be amazing to be able to stay home with them (either one of you! and I mean that!) until they are school-age - I NEVER thought I would say that - but who makes enough money to be a one income household? Hardly anyone anymore. And those that do need to be very, very grateful. Those who are planning on having children, just a word of advice, if you have a job that tops up your maternity leave to your normal paycheque every week of your mat leave - DO NOT QUIT! I wish so much my job did that. I want to find one that does but how do you say "So, I want to know if you top up your employees on mat leave because after you hire me I'll be going off one or two more times..." YA RIGHT! But living on EI for your maternity leave can be very, very hard. Anyway that was an aside...
There's just so much going on right now. Work is a nightmare, the politics and bullshit are insane, the union stuff - my own and the city as a whole, the money stress, the knowing that I can't leave even if it becomes unbearable because I'm depended on, the worrying about Emeliah not being with one of us during the day, trying to figure out when she will go into a day care a few days a week (and budgeting for that!), our renos that need finished, the things we want to do this year...its just insane. I'm having a really hard time balancing it all. Chris is helping, he's really helping, but there's just some things he can't help with. Talking it through seems to help me relax and think it through, and helps me sleep at night. Its totally selfish of me and I'm sorry for that but I guess you don't have to read it if you don't want, right? LOL And it would still have the same effects on me! haha But I do miss everyone.
I can't wait until this work stuff is over, because then I know I will be able to relax and forget about work when 3pm comes every day. Then everything else won't seem so bad I know. But until then...I'm on call for a week so we'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed we don't get all that rain tonight like their warning about, I really don't want to get called in at all.
Anyway. Talk to you guys later.
Michelle
PS I do promise to make this blog into something useful...someday...
I want to apologize. This mainly has been a ranting board, not one that I keep in touch with my friends on. I'm sorry for that.
I've just been going through a lot of stress at work lately - there was a provincial order on the water plant and I got caught up in it and I'm trying to fight/deal with that, and now because of the order the management team responsible for us does not trust us and is questioning all our work/logs/information since - which is completely uncalled for. If you all knew what I was talking about (a small part of the world does, so I won't try and explain) when I explained about the water plant and what happened I'm sure you'd be as up in arms as I am. Chris is, he thought maybe I was exaggerating a little bit but recent events have totally put him on my side. Long story short - we received an order from the government for an incident that is 2 years old, and had been proven to actually not be any sort of problem whatsoever. The evidence proves this, as does the engineer's report. However our management team rolled over when they should have asked us and fought for us, and that's what I'm angry about. Plus the fact that we received a sort of reprimand (kind of) when the engineer's report totally cleared us and its proven that there was NO incident is whats getting me upset.
Every day I'm stressing about what I heard that day or what is coming down the pipe that day. Wondering if I have to be worried about my job, or going to
I don't like mentioning it or making a big deal out of it - but its so hard to be the one who makes the bigger paycheque. Its not for lack of trying on Chris' part, that's for damn sure, and I don't fault HIM for it by any means - the whole "traditional roles" thing is nice but not realistic for the majority of people in this world anymore. I don't care about that, but its still a big stressor. I am not the type of woman who would ever throw that back in his face, or parade it around to other people, I hesitate to even "publish" this. I don't agree with that and like I said before, it isn't his fault. He's tried and is trying, and we're supporting each other throughout. Thats a partnership - the 'traditional' marriage is not necessarily needed to have an amazing marriage and/or commitment to each other. If you have children, even if you can't picture it now, it really would be amazing to be able to stay home with them (either one of you! and I mean that!) until they are school-age - I NEVER thought I would say that - but who makes enough money to be a one income household? Hardly anyone anymore. And those that do need to be very, very grateful. Those who are planning on having children, just a word of advice, if you have a job that tops up your maternity leave to your normal paycheque every week of your mat leave - DO NOT QUIT! I wish so much my job did that. I want to find one that does but how do you say "So, I want to know if you top up your employees on mat leave because after you hire me I'll be going off one or two more times..." YA RIGHT! But living on EI for your maternity leave can be very, very hard. Anyway that was an aside...
There's just so much going on right now. Work is a nightmare, the politics and bullshit are insane, the union stuff - my own and the city as a whole, the money stress, the knowing that I can't leave even if it becomes unbearable because I'm depended on, the worrying about Emeliah not being with one of us during the day, trying to figure out when she will go into a day care a few days a week (and budgeting for that!), our renos that need finished, the things we want to do this year...its just insane. I'm having a really hard time balancing it all. Chris is helping, he's really helping, but there's just some things he can't help with. Talking it through seems to help me relax and think it through, and helps me sleep at night. Its totally selfish of me and I'm sorry for that but I guess you don't have to read it if you don't want, right? LOL And it would still have the same effects on me! haha But I do miss everyone.
I can't wait until this work stuff is over, because then I know I will be able to relax and forget about work when 3pm comes every day. Then everything else won't seem so bad I know. But until then...I'm on call for a week so we'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed we don't get all that rain tonight like their warning about, I really don't want to get called in at all.
Anyway. Talk to you guys later.
Michelle
PS I do promise to make this blog into something useful...someday...
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Herrow
Hey guys
Back again.
I didn't go to work today, I woke up with a headache and its pretty hard to do my job with one so I stayed home with Em. This job is getting too stressful for what its worth. Its really getting to me, I think that's why I had the headache to begin with - just the thought of going!
It sounds like normal ranting for any job but seriously, this is insane. There are like 3 or 4 different things going on at once, political bullshit, people leaving, union crap and mountains of distrust and dislike (to put it mildly). This is more than I've ever had to deal with and more than most people have had to deal with in their workplaces, I can guarantee it. When you are stressed out every single day, and can't enjoy your baby and husband except on the weekends (when you're not on call, of course!) because of worrying or anger caused by your JOB, there's something wrong. When you have to be worried about your job because any higher ups don't trust you - when you've never given any reason not to be trusted for 3.5years - and the people who are supposed to back you up throw you under the bus at the first opportunity and deny it - there's something really wrong there. Not necessarily talking about myself about all of it but as a whole - none of us should have to deal with this. We go to work, go above and beyond for our job and we all get treated like shit. Look at the contractors you have working for you - with orders and charges etc etc almost every year but no one gets up in arms about that. All I want to do now is go to work, get my paycheck and come home. I don't want to do anything more for you, because that's the environment you've bred. That's all on YOU. All I am trying to do is keep my head down and go about my business and do my job but it doesn't seem to matter.
This is bullshit. I'm having a hard time dealing with this, this is not how it should be.
Sorry that turned into more of a rant than I expected.
Staying home today helped out a lot for the things that were neglected around the house...IE everything lol. Got the laundry caught up (well, in the process, there were 3 baskets...oops), dishes done, bedroom cleaned up, dining room table cleared off mostly - its our catch-all. Dogs all looked after today and Emeliah is doing well and napping at the moment. Got some of the windows open for some fresh air, it was/is nice out today. Wanted to take Em out but its really windy here, and I don't do well with wind (get earaches easily) and she doesn't seem to like it either. We went out briefly to get the mail etc and wandered around the yard for a bit but that's it, it was pretty cloudy at that time. I find that working where I do really puts a strain on the work I can and want to do at home. When Chris was off he was amazing at keeping things neat and cleaned up and I really appreciated it. He still does, come to that. I find myself really just wanting to relax or spend time with Em when I get home from work and not much else. Its me trying to space myself away from work and not think about it I guess. Things suffer around here when Chris and I are busy - hence the major laundry today haha. On top of the awful headache I had this morning I knew that if I didn't get time to do this stuff soon it wouldn't get done for at least another week, since I'm on call this weekend. At least its over now and done. Or close to done anyway.
Well I think I'll head off for now, I need to get Em up from her nap. I let it go on too long as it is already LOL! She likes her sleep, just like her momma.
Back again.
I didn't go to work today, I woke up with a headache and its pretty hard to do my job with one so I stayed home with Em. This job is getting too stressful for what its worth. Its really getting to me, I think that's why I had the headache to begin with - just the thought of going!
It sounds like normal ranting for any job but seriously, this is insane. There are like 3 or 4 different things going on at once, political bullshit, people leaving, union crap and mountains of distrust and dislike (to put it mildly). This is more than I've ever had to deal with and more than most people have had to deal with in their workplaces, I can guarantee it. When you are stressed out every single day, and can't enjoy your baby and husband except on the weekends (when you're not on call, of course!) because of worrying or anger caused by your JOB, there's something wrong. When you have to be worried about your job because any higher ups don't trust you - when you've never given any reason not to be trusted for 3.5years - and the people who are supposed to back you up throw you under the bus at the first opportunity and deny it - there's something really wrong there. Not necessarily talking about myself about all of it but as a whole - none of us should have to deal with this. We go to work, go above and beyond for our job and we all get treated like shit. Look at the contractors you have working for you - with orders and charges etc etc almost every year but no one gets up in arms about that. All I want to do now is go to work, get my paycheck and come home. I don't want to do anything more for you, because that's the environment you've bred. That's all on YOU. All I am trying to do is keep my head down and go about my business and do my job but it doesn't seem to matter.
This is bullshit. I'm having a hard time dealing with this, this is not how it should be.
Sorry that turned into more of a rant than I expected.
Staying home today helped out a lot for the things that were neglected around the house...IE everything lol. Got the laundry caught up (well, in the process, there were 3 baskets...oops), dishes done, bedroom cleaned up, dining room table cleared off mostly - its our catch-all. Dogs all looked after today and Emeliah is doing well and napping at the moment. Got some of the windows open for some fresh air, it was/is nice out today. Wanted to take Em out but its really windy here, and I don't do well with wind (get earaches easily) and she doesn't seem to like it either. We went out briefly to get the mail etc and wandered around the yard for a bit but that's it, it was pretty cloudy at that time. I find that working where I do really puts a strain on the work I can and want to do at home. When Chris was off he was amazing at keeping things neat and cleaned up and I really appreciated it. He still does, come to that. I find myself really just wanting to relax or spend time with Em when I get home from work and not much else. Its me trying to space myself away from work and not think about it I guess. Things suffer around here when Chris and I are busy - hence the major laundry today haha. On top of the awful headache I had this morning I knew that if I didn't get time to do this stuff soon it wouldn't get done for at least another week, since I'm on call this weekend. At least its over now and done. Or close to done anyway.
Well I think I'll head off for now, I need to get Em up from her nap. I let it go on too long as it is already LOL! She likes her sleep, just like her momma.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Hey ya'll
Thanks for suffering through my last post. I appreciate it.
Just an update for now. I may add on later. We'll see.
I joined a Relay for Life team today! I'm pretty happy about it. Its my first time and I really should have done it before. As I said on my page for the relay I have had way too many friends and family affected by cancer and most of them have lost the battle. If you go to relayforlife.ca and search for Peterborough and look for 'I came, I saw, I conquered ' team thats mine and you can see/donate if you feel so inclined - from there. Oh wait, here it is (I think):
I don't know how its going to work out with Em and Chris because I'll be gone for 12hrs+ but I know they'll handle it. And somehow I'll have to sleep on the Saturday during the day. But that's not til June so I'm good, I'll deal with it then.
Hoping I can raise some money, I haven't done something like this since grade school with the Jump Rope for Heart and all that jazz. We'll see.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Rant. Warning : Bad language!
Here it is.
This is going to be centered around our wedding. For the most part, everything was fantastic and I loved it. I had a great time and everyone else did too so they said. But, there are some things I really wanted to say. I really needed to say. And I do apologize if the wrong people read this, but it had to be said. I know its kinda wimpy to do it this way but it would cause unnecessary unpleasantness and anger if I actually did it. Its going to be haphazard and all over the place, because there's a lot to say and its been building for over 5 months. I want my friends to know what happened, and how things happened, and why some things were the way they were. That I didn't have anything to do with some of the things. And that I hated some of the things and I didn't get any choice in the matter.
This is going to be centered around our wedding. For the most part, everything was fantastic and I loved it. I had a great time and everyone else did too so they said. But, there are some things I really wanted to say. I really needed to say. And I do apologize if the wrong people read this, but it had to be said. I know its kinda wimpy to do it this way but it would cause unnecessary unpleasantness and anger if I actually did it. Its going to be haphazard and all over the place, because there's a lot to say and its been building for over 5 months. I want my friends to know what happened, and how things happened, and why some things were the way they were. That I didn't have anything to do with some of the things. And that I hated some of the things and I didn't get any choice in the matter.
- I had no idea what my centrepieces were going to be. Every time I asked - politely - I was brushed off or called a control freak. The lanterns and the fish were the only things I wanted and frankly I'm surprised they were even there, even though that's all I wanted. All that tacky, crappy green and white shit all over the goddamn lanterns was not me. It was disgusting. And the tacky mirrors on the tables. Awful. I didn't see my centrepieces finished until I walked into the reception. That's the truth. And the person who put them together KNEW all of this. And I KNOW that every time I asked they weren't even done, and that's why I couldn't see them. And I kept getting lied to. (If you are wondering who this person is, ask Gina or my Mom, they know. And so may you, think about it LOL.
- Those STUPID TACKY CHEAP favour tags were not me. I didn't want them. I specifically said I did not want them. No one keeps them and I didn't want to pay for nice ones since they get thrown out, and I certainly didn't want the dollar store ones. I didn't know they were attached to my awesome favours until the reception, once again. And the handwriting on the ones I did see was awful. Gee thanks.
- I did not want anyone to say grace. We were asked and we specifically said no. We are not religious, if you were at our wedding you heard that God was not mentioned in our vows at all. If we were religious we would have got married at a church. We didn't. Get over it. We were bypassed and my poor father was asked to do it, and of course he would do it if asked, on the spot, right before the meal. I was SO angry. I have nothing against people who are religious and would choose to do this but it was just something we didn't want. Ultimately it didn't hurt anyone or anything but really -we should have been respected in our choice.
- The beautiful music I found and my cousin in Nova Scotia burned for me and sent to me to play as I walked down the isle was bypassed. It was said that the CD wouldn't work, and I hope that was true. You guys likely noticed that some music started to play then it stopped - that was me saying if I couldn't get what I wanted I didn't want anything and I didn't care if was awkward for me walking down the isle. I was crying I was so upset. Had to pull myself together before the doors opened. Sounds ridiculous but just wait until you're there. You put a lot of time and thought into these things and when they go wrong its the worst feeling. The song is above - I couldn't figure out how to move it down here. Sigh.
- The cake. I wasn't going to mention the cake because it really was very well done and yummy, but I'm going to. The cake was supposed to be a gift, which is great, but yet again it was a "surprise"... I did NOT WANT it to be a surprise. So that was fine, I gave the specs we wanted and the fillings etc. The cake was nothing like we requested. Sure it was really nice and tasted good but we didn't get anything we wanted, except the cake topper which I bought. I know that sounds rather spoiled and selfish, as it was a gift and we didn't pay for anything but the topper, but honestly - you asked for our specs and we gave them to you. Use them. That's what we wanted for our wedding.
- Our poor flower girl was the only one without red shoes. Not a rant, just felt sorry for her! Her mom said she couldn't find any. Sad!
- I'm so grateful for Vanessa. I wish now that I would have known to invite her for herself, but I'm so glad she came with Leanne, Christie & Steph. Her makeup was awesome. I had no plan for that.
- So, SO sad that we had to have it inside. I was very disappointed but I'm grateful for everyone braving the wind for pictures. I am pretty disappointed it ended up that way. Not at all what we wanted.
- I know now that I really let too much get away from me. I was being too nice. That seems to be my issue more often than not, I am trying all the time to please everyone else even in a small way. I didn't think it was that bad until afterwards. I didn't think I'd care that much, I'm not usually like that or that picky about anything! Once I was able to put everything together I realized what happened though. We were promised many things that never came through - which isn't necessarily my issue, my point is that if it couldn't be delivered or actually done, don't promise it. Or actually come clean about it. Don't hide it or try to push it off on someone else. We were put in a very tight spot before and after the wedding because of this.
- It really makes me sad that this is one of the most prominent things that I'm remembering. That is not how it should be. Its pretty bad that all I keep thinking is how we'll do it all our way when we throw a vow renewal party LOL.
- Like I said though most of the day and night we loved. We loved every minute of being with everyone and having a great time. We're so grateful to everyone that helped out and were there for us for everything. Thanks to Dad for the open bar - I think that helped everyone's good time! LOL I loved the resort and the cabins and the grounds. The food was great, and I really liked our caterer. I loved our photographer and even though our DJ is NOT a people person he did a great job. Karen (wedding coordinator at the resort) was awesome - Marg (retired wedding coordinator) was a bitch, fyi. The favours were awesome and I hope you guys still have them. Thanks to everyone for having a great time and showing us that you did. We love you very much!
- Anyways sorry guys for ranting like that and I hope I didn't come off as a really big spoiled brat because that's not how I feel or anything. It obviously doesn't matter anymore as its long past but every time I thought about it I either wanted to cry or smash something. This will hopefully help. Sometimes you need to let it out to get over it.
- Advice for whoever wants it:
- Don't let anything go, or be taken over by someone else, unless you really don't want to be a part of it or honestly won't care about the outcome.
- Budget for everything. Even if you are being given money by multiple sources (don't we all wish!) make sure you have some way of covering everything if (when?) the other benefactors fall through.
- Be forceful in what you and your future husband want. I can't stress this enough. Its your guys' day and even if you are the most laid back, stress free person in the world there's going to be something you need to have - fight for it.
- Random, but : Get the dress you want. Mine took a biiig chunk out of our wedding budget and to a degree I regret that, but the feeling I had while wearing it and the look on Chris' face and his compliments afterwards were worth it.
- Don't let anyone try and bully you into a damn thing. Not one goddamn thing. If you want it - its right. I don't care if its having a python around your neck as you say your vows. If you want it, and it represents you in some way - do it. Don't do anything you don't want, even if its harmless. You will regret it, even a little bit. And as I've told many people in my life (namely you, Lan!) - have NO REGRETS!
- I guess that's all. LOL I know you're saying "that's more than enough!" and you're likely right. I'm signing off of this one.
- Love ya'll. Thanks for putting up with me.
- ADD ON! To all my friends where a husband is not in your future, where there is a WIFE instead, I apologize! But it all carries over, future husband or wife, its all good. Love ya Lan ;)
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
First try.
Okay. This is my first attempt at a blog, not entirely sure how this is going to end up - with how I'm feeling lately I have an inkling its going to get angry. Maybe not right away but it will end up there I'm sure.
I have a lot to say.
I miss my friends and this is a good way to get to talk to them without overwhelming them with texts or long phone calls no one can afford anymore let alone have the time for. If in fact they read this. I'm hoping they do. There are some people I hope do not read it (not that I can help it necessarily), but I don't plan on advertising it for everyone to see.
I always wondered about people that blogged. Did they run out of paper in their notebooks? Are they trying to be environmentally friendly? Or are they just those kind of people who want their dirty laundry aired out in front of everyone? Do they think the world revolves around them and the general public wants to know every detail about their lives? I'm sure some of them are like this, but I can tell you what drove me to making one.
I need to vent. At least right now. Maybe it will turn into something else later on but right now, I need to vent and I need my friends to hear it. I need someone to hear it. I can talk to myself all I want and my husband really tries but some things he doesn't want to hear and some things I don't want to rant about to him. Not that I'm keeping anything from him or he doesn't support when I'm upset but I believe sometimes we have to have things to ourselves. Not major things, nothing that can affect your relationship whatsoever, but things that would unnecessarily upset the other for no good reason. Or things that are long past, that make no sense to bring up again to your partner even if you're still angry about it. I'm sure (no, I know) that some of the things I'm going to rant/vent about are now moot points, because they are long past, but they are things I haven't been able to say and I need to. Things I need my friends to know. Nothing about them by any means, I'd never air that kind of laundry on the internet and invite people to read it! But just about things that have happened. That they were there for and a part of.
I'm not sure when my first real post is going to be, its kind of hard right now to get this time, I'm pretty excited I got this much time haha. I'm happy my daughter is pretty content entertaining herself at this stage. But I'm going to try. If my husband doesn't need the laptop tonight maybe I will get to then.
Thanks for getting this far.
I have a lot to say.
I miss my friends and this is a good way to get to talk to them without overwhelming them with texts or long phone calls no one can afford anymore let alone have the time for. If in fact they read this. I'm hoping they do. There are some people I hope do not read it (not that I can help it necessarily), but I don't plan on advertising it for everyone to see.
I always wondered about people that blogged. Did they run out of paper in their notebooks? Are they trying to be environmentally friendly? Or are they just those kind of people who want their dirty laundry aired out in front of everyone? Do they think the world revolves around them and the general public wants to know every detail about their lives? I'm sure some of them are like this, but I can tell you what drove me to making one.
I need to vent. At least right now. Maybe it will turn into something else later on but right now, I need to vent and I need my friends to hear it. I need someone to hear it. I can talk to myself all I want and my husband really tries but some things he doesn't want to hear and some things I don't want to rant about to him. Not that I'm keeping anything from him or he doesn't support when I'm upset but I believe sometimes we have to have things to ourselves. Not major things, nothing that can affect your relationship whatsoever, but things that would unnecessarily upset the other for no good reason. Or things that are long past, that make no sense to bring up again to your partner even if you're still angry about it. I'm sure (no, I know) that some of the things I'm going to rant/vent about are now moot points, because they are long past, but they are things I haven't been able to say and I need to. Things I need my friends to know. Nothing about them by any means, I'd never air that kind of laundry on the internet and invite people to read it! But just about things that have happened. That they were there for and a part of.
I'm not sure when my first real post is going to be, its kind of hard right now to get this time, I'm pretty excited I got this much time haha. I'm happy my daughter is pretty content entertaining herself at this stage. But I'm going to try. If my husband doesn't need the laptop tonight maybe I will get to then.
Thanks for getting this far.
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